Let the Fight Begin

I start a 5 hour session of chemo on Tuesday.  I am excited and scared at the same time.

I will be given a cocktail of Paclitaxel and Carboplatin chemotherapy drugs.

It is very likely that I will lose my hair with the Taxel, so a short hair cut may happen this weekend.  I am not so worried about it.  My niece is all excited about cutting my hair off.  Don't worry she knows what she is doing. 

I am open to suggestions if anyone wants to send me some ideas.  Hmm...maybe I should make this a competition.

I am an OVERCOMER

Overcomer - by Mandisa

You have to watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8VoUYtx0kw&noredirect=1

Hang On!

Below is a timely scripture that a dear friend sent me.

"I will be your refuge and strength, Cheryl, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore have hope, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.  (Praise God!)

You are a river whose streams make glad My heart, and I am with you. You will not fall; I will help you at the break of day.

Just be still. It's ok to be still. And know that I am who I say I am:  Your God, and I am able."

Although it is very difficult to Praise God at times, I try very hard.  I look for the wonderful things that have been put in my path.  This week I am thanking God for the overwhelming support.  As I start to feel sorry for myself and wonder how I am going to make it...I get another proof that there are hundreds of people cheering me on. I love you all. 

Chemo 1st

Because of the extensive cancer in my body, the doctor recommends starting with Chemotherapy.

I spoke to his head nurse a few minutes ago, so I do not know the frequency or any of the details yet.  There are so many different options that I can not even guess what is going to happen.

The good news is that she said that their patients do not get really sick right away after chemo.  She stated that their patients get a lot of steroids and anti-nausea medicine. 

Another thing she pointed out is that they will not let me take a lot of vitamins and other miscellaneous minerals that we all take because we think they prevent cancer.  She said that it is actually bad for cancer patients.

I should speak to the doctor tonight or tomorrow night and get everything started.

I Am As Strong As My Support System

If I am as strong as my support system then I am a super hero.  The support at work is unreal.  Seriously, I have never had anyone in my life like this group of people.  I certainly don't deserve it, but am honored to be a part of a community with such love, grace, and strength.  I can not describe how humbled I feel that they are so willing to help me. 

I get simple emails or texts from colleagues to tell me that they are thinking of me.  Every time I read one of those emails, I feel stronger and more positive about my situation.  

Our Human Resources team has contacted me (I don't mean just one person, but several of them) to make sure I know the resources that are available to me when I am too sick to be at work.  This is just unreal. 

My church family is beyond amazing.  And not just my church, but dozens of other churches and prayer groups are lifting me up. I really am amazed at the GRACE and LOVE.

My caregivers have changed their lives to be with me.  There is no question that my health is taking a toll on my family.  And this journey has only just begun.

I sure do hope that Love Conquers All.

Video Assisted Thorasic Surgery - VATS

10/22/2013 - A thoracic surgeon performed a VATS procedure on me.  This was primarily to look around and take some biopsies.

First they had to do another paracentesis on my abdomen. They drew 3 liters of fluid off.  This gave room for them to go into my chest cavity and lungs.

When they went into my chest they drew one liter of fluid off of my left lung.  No wonder it was getting so tough to breath.  The surgical report shows several "implants" those are places where the cancer has settled and is growing, in the respiratory system & digestive system.

A recent CT scan shows signs and systems of cancer in my breasts.  Additional, findings show "other diseases of the pericardium".

I have a conference with my doctor this week and should know my treatment plan and some answers.

This VATS procedure did not seem so horrible the first few days...except for pain when breathing and coughing.  But by Friday, I was exhausted.  I am getting my feet back under me today and feel a bit more normal.

Bad Blogger

I am back and at work.  Last week was a physical challenge for me and thus NO blogging. 

I know you all are anxious to learn what happened.

Cancer...You Take My Breath Away!

I found out, last night, that the cancer appears to be in my lungs.  They are filling with fluid, the reason I am having a hard time catching my breath.  I will have a VATS procedure to draw the fluid out of my lungs and do a biopsy.  They will most likely put a camera in and take a look around.

This means that chemo is the first step.  I do not have a treatment plan, yet, and thus I do not know anything else.

I remain positive and blessed.  This is harder on everyone else than it is on me.  I will be just fine.

More Tests!

It turns out that the #1 cancer center in the world does a tremendous amount of testing before they determine a treatment for cancer. 

They have asked more questions than you can imagine. Seriously, for over an hour.

They will take the previous Sonogram, Abdominal CT & Abdominal MRI and have THEIR radiologists read them.

They took the slide from previous fluid draws and ran their own analysis.

They took more blood and did a CT scan of my chest. 

I had a lengthy consult with 2 doctors, 1 PA, 2 nurses & 1 intern.

The next step is a laproscopic exploration to see first hand what the cancer looks like and to determine if surgery will be successful.

I remain extremely positive.  I am healthy & I am fabulous.  Now, if I can only get all of you to stop worrying so much and look for things to praise God for. 

Who Stole My Wheaties?

After more tests, I am exhausted.  I knew that the cancer would wreck my energy level, but this is ridiculous.  I am used to going 150 miles an hour.  This is slowing me down.

Carol (sister) and I decided to walk between tests and appointments.  I could not keep up with her.  Just a few weeks ago I could tear the arch trainer up for 45 minutes.  Now I can't walk two blocks.

 I want my Wheaties back!

Keep Lifting Me Up!

I can feel your prayers.  God is blessing me every second of every day.  I remain positive but anxious about what the doctors are going to tell me next.

Many of you have sent me scriptures, put me on prayer lists and have lit candles for me.  One of my dear friends even had bracelets made for me...to remind everyone to keep the positive energy flowing my way. 

I am slated for many new tests next week.  I will know by the end of next week what my new treatment plan is.  Stay tuned into this blog and I will post about the fun I am having with the test. 

In the mean time, keep praying!

Don't Tell!

It was the middle of the night, I could not sleep and I was hungry...  I fell off of the juicing wagon and ate some Wheat Thins last night.  I guess that I did not do too much damage because I feel great today.  I am going to add some beans to this cancer diet. 

I have given up coffee, sugar and food in general.  I drank an entire head of cauliflower last night for dinner.  I did add some wheat grass for interest.  Sounds terrible, but it is not. 

By the way, do NOT tell my mother that I ate the Wheat Thins.  She is going to great links to make sure that I am juicing the right fruits and vegetables.  I also am scared that she is going to find out that coffee enemas are good for killing cancer.  Unless some of you are willing help me with the enema, don't tell her about that either.

Juicing May Be the Cure!

My angel...My mother has decided that she is going to help me beat this cancer through juicing.  So she bought me a cold-press juicer and is reading books & going to seminars on juicing.  When I got home last night she was getting everything ready for my next glass of juice.  She gets the veggies washed and ready for me to juice on my own the next morning for breakfast.  It does not get better than this...my own juicing chef.

After three days of juicing the swelling in my abdomen has gone down and the pain in my spleen has gone away.  I am in my forth day of juicing and I think it is making a difference.  Amazing!

The biggest challenge is getting our hands on enough decent vegetables to juice.  Forget trying to get everything organic.  That is impossible.  So we just wash the heck out of everything with vinegar. 

May I say that there are some vegetables that make a horrible drink.  It may be the combination of what mom puts in the juicer.  She just crams everything in there with no thought of what combination could taste better.  I prefer to choose the fruit and vegetable strategically and find a combination that makes the experience a pleasure. 

Maybe juicing will become a permanent part of my diet after this cancer has gone away.

Attitude

...Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. 

- Charles Swindoll

Estate Planning

It seems prudent at this time to work on my estate planning.  I meant to do this years ago, but you know how that goes.  I just told the lawyer that I could say in 5 sentence what it takes the legal professionals to say in 15 pages.  Wow! 

Even though I know I am going to live a long, exciting life...I still have to do this.  And it is expensive to do this.  There is not going to be anything to leave to my daughter when I pay the attorney's fees.  Ooops!  The lawyer reads this blog.  -  Hi! You are doing a wonderful job for me.  But seriously, are there any coupons that I can clip for this?

Does Cancer Hurt?

I am just finding out that cancer does hurt.  The stabbing pains in my abdomen are increasing.  This big ol' swollen belly is not comfortable either.  Sorry, no whining allowed.  I have to keep remembering that there are people that have it a lot worse than I do.  I am blessed through it all. 

This is reminding me of the days of pregnancy over 19 years ago.  I just don't get a beautiful daughter out this one.  But I do get to meet a lot of wonderful medical professionals.

I still feel pretty good, but I am finding it a struggle to keep my head in the game at work.  Ooops!  My boss reads this blog.  - Hi! I am working my fingers to the bone.  I am posting this blog on my break.    

Could This Really Be Cancer?

I feel really good today!  How can someone have this much cancer in them and feel this good? 

I remain so positive that I am concerned about myself.  I am not scared.  I don't worry much.  It just all seems like a process that I have to work through.  One day at a time. 

A dear friend reminded me that this is not a race, it is a marathon.  So...I guess I am in this for the long haul. 

I have faith that God is in control of it all and my job is to ride it out with as much grace and dignity as possible.  With everything that I do, I have a strong desire to make a difference in the world.  That is easy in my job with students.  I know that I make an impact on them.  The opportunity will come up for me to help someone because of what I have been through.  I already know that my beautiful daughter and niece are watching me closely.

Beautiful friends in a time of need.

A wonderful friend just shared this with me.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
Proverbs 31:25


I am honestly floored by the grace and love that is being poured out for me.  I had no idea that others would care so much for my well-being.  I have also come to realize that I need their help, love and prayers.

It is tough to need help when you are used to doing so much by yourself.

Happy Birthday to me!

10/2/2013 - Today is my 50th birthday...I share this day with an amazing identical twin.  Carol, her daughter and my daughter will be a huge part part of my success and healing.

I think the fact that I am wearing a tiara all day makes me feel a lot better about everything.  My staff decorated my office with flowers, balloons and banners.  They had a beautiful breakfast ready for me too.  They are the reason for the tiara.  They knew I would wear it.  I love all of them! 

Nothing but the best!

9/27/2013 - So the doctor at Mayo told me last night that I have a "Textbook" case of ovarian cancer and that 9 weeks of chemo, surgery & 9 weeks of chemo is a standard treatment.  I am not comfortable with standard treatment.  I think I need a 2nd opinion.

Thank you to my friends that are helping me fight this.  They are pulling research and sending me email after email of articles to read.  This is saving me so much time. 

9/29/2013 - A dear friend came over to help me.  He is a strong believer in the abilities of MD Anderson in Houston, Texas.  They are the #1 cancer center in the U.S.  After about 2 hours of discussion I am well on my way to Texas.

9/30/2013 - I have an appt. at MD Anderson in Texas.  They are going to do three days of testing.  Now that sounds more like it.

So much more than I thought!

09/25/2013 - I am trying to catch you all up to date.  Had an MRI at Mayo Clinic w/ contrast.  I was most interested in the precious young man that was the radiologist/technician.  His name is "Flash".  You all know that I could not let that go. 

I am trying to make every procedure as much fun for me and the people working on me as possible.  We usually end up laughing our butts off about something.  I hope this continues through chemotherapy.  Ugh!

09/26/2013 - Dr. Robertson from Mayo called to tell me that it is no surprise that the fluid that they pulled from by belly showed cancer.  He said something about adnocarsinoma.  I am really not sure what else he said.  He said that I have cancer in my right ovary, colon, small intestines, paritinium, omentum and spleen.  Not all are tumors some are just thickening areas.  That sounds like good news to me.

I asked if there would be more tests to see if cancer is anywhere else in my body, but he said, "NO"!  Does that sound odd to anyone else.  How do they know it is not stage 1V if they do not look?

Too much information!

9/24/2013 -  Decided that Mayo Clinic would be the best place for me due to reputation and location.  I met with the Gynecologic Oncologist.  He confirmed Stage 111 - C ovarian cancer.  Thank God that I had my sister Carol with me.  She heard the doctor say things that I did not hear.

Of course, I had blood tests for the 3rd time.  I assume that Mayo Clinic did not trust the tests done by my doctor.  CA125 marker = 426...normal is below 21.

A paracentesis was performed to relieve the extreme pressure on my abdomen.  They drew 2 liters of fluid from my very big belly.  This procedure gave me so much relief.  I lost 5 pounds from just this one procedure.

Really? Cancer? Me?

9/19/2013 - It all started with a simple hernia repair.  The doctor said that it would be three stitches and about 6 weeks of not lifting anything over 10 pounds.  This was on a Thursday and I had planned to be back to work on Monday.  But my body had other plans.

My abdomen started to swell and swell.   

9/23/2013 - So the doctor ordered a sonogram and then a CT scan.  The radiologist came out and told me that there is something on my right ovary and the doctor wants to see me immediately.  I will save you the details of the conversations that I shared with the doctors at this point.

My only thoughts were of my beautiful daughter Kristin.  "How is she going to live without a mother?" Even typing this makes me cry at the thoughts that run through my head.