2 Down!

I have finished my 2nd Chemo treatment.  I feel fabulous.  By tomorrow, I will start to feel worse and by Friday I will be in terrible shape, lasting through the entire weekend.  I need to be in bed and left alone for the weekend and I will be back at work by Tuesday.

My white blood count made it to the normal range.  The bad news is that the CA-125 cancer marker is still going up.  The doctor is not that concerned, right now.  By the end of December we would hope that number is declining.  If not, then we may need to try a different treatment.

I am not looking forward to the next week or even the next three weeks of feeling achy and tired. 

Bald is Beautiful!

After about 2/3 of my hair fell out, Kristin, shaved my head.  She did a great job and kept reminding me that she has experience shaving her horse for shows.  That made me feel better!?

Turns out that I don't look that bad.  Bald is o.k. for me and I may not even wear a hat or scarf most days.  I do not want to embarrass others, but if they take the time to get to know me...they will not even notice that I am bald.

It Comes With the Territory!

Pain!  I guess that was to be expected.  In all of my research I have not read that cancer causes extreme pain and discomfort.  When I ask a doctor or nurse they offer no explanation, but just offer me another prescription for pain.  There really are no answers.  The pain from the chemo has gone, but has been replaced with other pains.  I really hope it is the chemo working and NOT the cancer growing.

No one really knows what I am facing.  The doctor tells me that everyone is different.

So...some days the pain is tolerable and I feel pretty good.  Other days I feel like I have the flu and everything hurts.  The worst of the pain is in my left rib cage.  Again, no body know why it hurts.

Bad Blood!

So my white blood cell count is low.  I am trying to figure out if I get treatment in a few days or if I have to wait.  Grrrr!  I have to find out how to keep my blood cells happy through all this chemo.  I want this chemo to happen on schedule. I don't have time for complications.

Evidently, I am also very susceptible to getting sick.  Sick people have to stay away.  

This weekend, I need to find a sunny spot and just lay there with my cat.  There is nothing that makes me feel better than a little sunshine.

I am in the 18%

The 5 year survival estimates on stage IV ovarian cancer is 18%.  The way I figure I am easily in that 18%.  Here is why:

* I am healthy...was regularly running for 30-45 minutes on the arch trainer just a mere 7 weeks ago.
* I am a very healthy eater.  I love my fruits and veggies
* There is not a lot of cancer in my family
* I have the best prayer warriors anyone could ask for
* I am going to the #1 cancer center in the world
* I am weirdly positive
* I have a giant support system (UNF, St. Ambrose, Friends, Family & beyond)
* I feel great (...the chemo pain is gone)
* I look great (...except for a swollen belly)
* I welcome miracles in my life
* I do not allow negative people in my life
* My daughter needs me to baby sit my grandchild one day (...after she has a college degree and has traveled the world)
* I still have a lot to do

Do you have Faith?

"When you have come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly."  Barbara J. Winter.

With Faith Comes Hope! 

Feeling Great!

It is just over a week since I had my first Chemo Therapy.  Other than a horrible pain in my left rib cage and and being a little tired...I think I have survived this round. 

One wonders what a diagnosis like mine would feel like.  For me, it did not shock me or scare me.  Of course, I could not breath because my mom had her arms around me so tight.  She was praying and I was trying to get some oxygen.  The only tears I shed are for my daughter.  I don't want her to see me go through this. 

So I have learned that my daughter's attitude mirrors mine.  I think she feels better about cancer when I am happy and positive.  I think that I am happy and positive about 90% of the time.  It is that 10% of the time that I am in pain that scares both of us. 

Another Great Inspiration

My strength comes from the most amazing places.  This is from a dear friend that is a Department Chair in a completely different college that I work in.  He says:

I was reading today a plaque that I have in my office, it was given to me by a dear friend.  It gives me hope and reassurance every time I read it.  It says:  "The Lord didn’t promise that life would be easy , but He did promise to go with you every step of the way."

This message from this amazing friend is just one of many proofs I get everyday that God is with me.   

The Best Friend in the World!

My dearest friend decided that I needed help this weekend.  She left her little ones under daddy's supervision for the night and came to spend the night with me.  She rubbed my back and feet when I was crying from pain.  She made sure I took my medicine and she fed me.  She would cook something I could only take two bites of and then she would find something else that I might be able to keep on my stomach.   

There is a special place in heaven for Mary Lou Brown!

Whew! Chemo!

I had my first chemo 5 hour i.v. infusion on Tuesday, November 5th.  A two hour reaction, that made me climb the walls, did not dampen my spirits.  I started the day with blood tests, then to the doctor's office, a long meeting with the pharmacist on my case and then chemo.

I felt great the day after chemo.  On the third day after chemo all of the steroids wore off and the extreme pain started.  I was in serious pain for about 4 days after that. 

I am back at work today, but a little slow from the chemo fog in my head.

Off With Her Hair!

The hair is almost gone.  My precious niece cut it off this weekend.  She and my daughter were so anxious and excited about the cut.  They repeatedly asked me if I was o.k. 

Seriously, this hair is the least of my worries.  I have always worn my hair long except for the few times I have donated it and even then it was still below my shoulders.  Turns out I look o.k. with really short hair. 

The pony tail will be donated to Locks of Love.  Locks of Love makes wigs for children that have lost their hair due to various medical reasons or treatments.

I expect that my hair will start to fall out in about two weeks and my niece will come over to buzzzzzz my hair off.  Maybe that will bother me, but maybe not.  The bald head is a badge of courage during a battle that I am going to win. 

Enough about the hair.