Oh! How That Bucket List changes!

Make a list, now, of the things that you would want to do before you die.  Do not consider money or any other barriers in your life.  Go ahead, just start writing.  Go back to that list every year and assess it then start all over with a new list each year.  Over the years you will be surprised at the things that you can check off of that list as having completed in some way.  At some point, you will start to see real growth in who you are and your outlook on what is important in life.

I started doing this years ago.  I have missed a few years here and there, but I still go back to that list at some point.  My bucket list is at a very interesting cross-road, as you can imagine.  The most important observation is how close to God I have become and how God is a much bigger part of this bucket list every year.

May I share some of this list with you?

1. Write a book (it does not have to be a novel, but a legacy of some sort)
2. Travel more (oh! how I would love to go on a mission trip and see the look on people's faces when they understand what God's Grace means)
3. Cook more (Ya'll come on over after church for a bite to eat and a card game - socialize more with my brothers & sisters in Christ)

You can steal my ideas for your bucket list.  Many of the items on the list are outrageous stuff that one would never think could happen in my life time, but I don't worry about that.  I just move forward with my hopes and dreams.

Keep dreaming and praying...and for goodness sakes, WRITE!

"You Are One Tough Lady!"

I got this comment from the most intimidating German, Female doctor here at Frachclinic after she looked at sonograms & CT scans that have been produced over the last year.  The more test that are run in the U.S. and in Germany, the more I get that comment.  They know the true severity of my cancer, the pain that it causes and the terrible side effects.  I take this opportunity to explain how Jesus Christ suffered a heck of a lot more than this.

As feeding tubes remain in and the tummy & lungs continue to be drained every few days...I remain strong as an example of a child of God...I remain strong for an even stronger daughter who is always at my side...I remain strong for little cousins that are looking up to me...I remain strong for my twin sister that is left to pick up some of the pieces of my life, not to mention trying to be a surrogate mother to my daughter...I remain strong for all that have carried a burden.  I am not a victim in anyway and refuse to be labled that way.

Again, I say that God has blessed me by choosing me to carry this.  This particular cancer is a furious one and is proving to be one heck of a ride.

Financial Burden!

These trips to Germany are proving to be very expensive, but I knew that going in.  I just thought that the vague wording from the insurance company would help out a little more.  So far, I have not received a receipt that is usable for them and at that they will only pay 60% of any treatment that they would normally pay for in the states.  Most of the treatments that I am getting are alternative by U.S. standards.

The first visit cost over $25,000 U.S. dollars and this visit will be about the same.

I am posting this because some of you have asked.

A precious friend has set up a way that you can help.  Go to the St. John's County Pink Heals website.  You will find a link there.  They also have an address that you can mail a check to, that will make the donation completely tax refundable.  Or you can pay by credit card right there on the website.  To the best of my knowledge, I can't see who has donated and 100% of the donations go toward my medical bills.  At a later date, St. John's County Pink Heals will host a fund raiser to collect the cost of doing this.  On the website, you will see other St. John's County residents that are also fund raising for their cancer treatments.

www.sjcpinkheals.com

Thank you for your continued prayers!

First Snow!

I am such a Florida Girl!!!  I have only been in snow a few times for the odd snow ski trip...but that was years ago.  We took a direct flight from Orlando to Frankfurt and had a driver from the clinic waiting for us.  This was a good thing, as I was a sick puppy when I left the U.S.

The Autobahn was fairly clear and fast.  Now, that is an amazing ride if are with daring drivers.  WooHoo!  On the very fast ride to the clinic we saw areas that had been blanketed with snow just days before.  The white trees and landscaping was so beautiful.  Since, I have been house bound by treatments, I have not ventured out to experience the freezing cold.

The nurses were standing at the door with blood pressure cuff and thermometer to get me started, even before I have registered as a patient.  But they all already know me and were excited to see how I am doing.

I do not know how long I will be here, as we have not purchased a return flight ticket.

What To Post and What Not To Post!

I am not big on posting my life when I am out of town, unless Spud is highly armed and dangerous.  Since he has his partners in crime staying with him, I will post.

After listening to a host of doctors give me little hope, my daughter and I decided to salvage our trip to Germany.  They kept telling us that there is still a lot that they can try.  Everything that the local docs wanted to do was only palliative.  Even a chemo that they wanted to try, was not expected to help much, but may have reduced some of the cancer burden.  A few ticket changes and we are in Germany only a few days later than originally planned.

Within 12 hours of being here, I had local Hyperthermia to the small bowels and about 5 I.V. infusions to help my liver, lymph nodes and immune system.  I immediately felt much better.  After  two nights here, I have had a lot of treatments.

Today, I expect my second lymph drainage that includes lymphatic massage and the wrapping of my little swollen legs.  This will go on for several days and has already improved my ability to move and dress myself.  I will get blood transfusions today due to a low hemoglobin count.  I will get the additional multiple infusions and local hyperthermia that I get everyday.

Due to the tumor burdened small bowel blockage, I am still on a liquid diet.  There are times I venture out and try some soft food that ultimately ends in a severe tummy ache.

As the internet permits, I will keep you posted...you know, since Spud and the armed guards are in charge.

Keep praying.

Challenging Week!

I have been through the ringer this past week or so.  Holy Cow!  I don't know where to begin.  I have had my abdomen drained three times, vomited a fair a amount of blood, suffered a significant tumor burdened blockage that took me completely off of anything by mouth for days.

It is pitiful when the ER and the rest of the hospital knows me by name.  Yes!  this has included a few hospital stays and tons of tests.  I have had so much fun with these dedicated caregivers....WOW! WOW! WOW!  Pray for them.

I get a port placed today.  It is a bit shocking that I have been fighting cancer for two years and everything has been done through my little bitty veins.  This port is a direct line into a major artery that is placed under a muscle in my chest.  No more needle sticks!!! yeah!  But to be honest, the needle really does not bother me at all, it is just that my veins are done helping me out here.

My daughter, twin sister and I have spent some teary late nights at the hospital trying to say everything to each other that we think needs to be said.  What a blessing this is.  Many people don't get that chance and then spend years wishing they would have had that last conversation.

What I haven't explained yet is that the doctors have given me 2 - 6 months to live.  But certainly less than a year.

I am not believing a word of it.  I have many more treatments in Germany to go and God still has some really big plans for me.  Although, I am excited beyond words to go see my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ....I simply have got some work to do that only I can do.

Keep praying like crazy in any way that the Holy Spirit leads you!

After The Fact!

You all don't get to hear what is going on until it is all over with.  On Thursday, I had another paracinticis.  I ended up in the Emergency Room with extreme pain, again.  I was screaming and throwing up blood...thick blood.  We may have figured out that the morphine is killing my little stomach.  I know you all will want to make suggestions and believe me I am doing it.  There is nothing like a big glass of buttermilk to soothe an achey tummy...and the 1/2 dozen other things I am taking, just for the stomach.