Saturday, July 11, 2015

It Is What It Is!

Everyone is wondering how I am doing with the possible big increase in the growth of my cancer.  (do you notice that I own the cancer, as in "my cancer"...not sure why I do that.  Maybe because it is part of me)  I really am not excited about it.  I get sick of dealing with it, but I know I am ready for the next phase.

"God does not give us more than we can handle."  How many times have you heard that?  Of course, I believe it, but there are days that I wonder.  Most of the time, I am able to put it in God's hands.  The issue is that I can't go a minute without thinking about it.  Cancer is so widespread in my body and it is such a huge part of me that it is hard to forget about, especially when the pain is getting worse.

I can lye flat on my back and feel the tumors in my belly.  They feel hard and are everywhere.  Some of them hurt when I press on them.  As far as the lymph nodes go, I only can feel two in my neck.  They feel like they have remained the same size.  Other lymph nodes are so far internally that I can't feel them.

Anyway, I am o.k. with the changes.  It motivates me to continue getting my affairs in order.

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