Jelly Belly!

Well, not exactly jelly, but my tummy is quite swollen and firm.  The oncologist was excited that the fluid is drying up, but the belly is not any smaller.  That is the nature of Peritoneal Cancer.

The peritoneum is the very thin moist skin that covers the inside of your abdomen and all of your internal organ.  It is all slippery so that your organs can move effortlessly into place as you move.   The lymph run through the peritoneum to help moisturize it.  If your lymph nodes are clogged then the peritoneum is not properly moisturized.  Well, my cancer is very much peritoneal & lymphatic at this point, along with other tumors.  But it is this cancer that is causing me such sickening pain.  It prevents me from being able to eat a normal portion of food and then makes me want to throw that up.

Don't look at the internet about this kind of cancer.  It says that there is a 100% morbidity rate.  Well, I think that is what the doctors mean when they keep telling me that there is no cure for me.  The internet gives me 12 - 18 months to live.

That's o.k. because the internet and the doctors are not GOD.  Last time I checked God is in control of my life.  I still surprise the doctors with my attitude (becoming more of a struggle) and my mobility.  I remain happy most of the time.  I am never depressed.  I cry every now and then because the pain becomes more than I can handle.  But really, I am o.k.

I still feel blessed that God chose me to take this on.  I do feel very special in that respect.

I wonder how people handle things like this without God.